TOUGH Lad of the week: Koose Muniswamy Veerappan

Unlike the other tough lads that have been listed here, Veerappan is someone who I would not actually like to meet in real life. He was an Indian robber bandit who robbed and killed at will for 30 years before he was captured and killed in 2004. He was wanted in connection with 184 murders, smuggling offenses worth over $25 million, and kidnapping dozens of people, including one of India’s biggest actors, who he held hostage for 109 days until his ransom was paid. This was a man who just oozed tough cuntery.

The pot belly and incredible moustache alone qualify him for the list.

Veerappan was seen to have a Robin Hood type image across India, partially because he helped out many villagers with money, and also because he originally went into war against the police because he felt they were responsible for forcing his brother and sister to commit suicide when he was a young man. The villagers hid and protected him on many occasions, though it was also known that he would punish anyone who reported his whereabouts or assisted police. Veerappan was known to almost always operate with a gang, and at some points had hundreds of loyal men following him. 

There was a special task force set up to catch Veerappan, and he managed to evade them for 12 straight years, and also attack and kill some of their number on several occasions. After the task force was set up in 1992, one of Veerappan’s lieutenants was captured and killed; Veerappan answered this by attacking the police station in force, killing 13 police officers and raiding the shit out of their weapons and ammunition. In this same year he lured the head of the task force and 28 other police into a trap using a fake informant, and he and his men threw bombs and hand grenades at them from cover, killing all 29 of them. The next year he killed 17 more police personnel, and also blew up a bus, killing all 43 passengers, including additional police. 

Veerappan was killed in 2004 after he was captured by police. It is not known exactly how he died, because the police released several versions of the story of how they laid a trap and killed him when he fired at them, but Veerappans wife argues all these, claiming that he was captured and killed in police custody. Either way, thousands of people turned up to his funeral, which was not held in his home town because the authorities feared people might have inspired to uprise upon hearing his incredibly tough life story. 

They took his life, but not his glorious, glorious moustache.

My first nomination for TOUGH CUNT of the century (20^th).

I Hate Golf

Think of anything you like about golf (I really hope you don't have any anyway - if you do; yellow card, mate) and I guarantee you I can think of another sport that does it better. Golf is the worst sport you can possibly play, and the only people who enjoy it are ponces and prick old people. I don't know why but for some reason it still has a legitimate audience. A pretty large one too, by the looks of it. The 2006 Ryder Cup was hosted in Ireland and had a massive viewership, and Tiger Woods' reputation seems to still be doing well despite sleeping with dozens of prostitutes behind his wife's back for over a decade. That's a bit weird, innit?

FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY

There's several reasons why golf is the worst sport there is if you just think about it. First, you don't do anything in golf. It's just my opinion, but the slow and passive nature of golf makes it incredibly boring - would you not prefer to play something a bit more stimulating? Isn't the point of a competitive sport is that it's exciting? I don't understand how anyone could enjoy 'competition' running along at the pace of a bandy dying snail. Also, the amount of implements you need just to play is a sign of how badly golf is designed.  Golf is the only sport I can think of where you need more than one item (i.e; a ball etc.) other than your hand to actually play - let alone fucking five. Take a look at the list of main cumbersome and inefficient clubs which are apparently all neccessary in order for you to play:

• Woods are long-distance clubs, meant to drive the ball a great distance down the fairway towards the hole. 
• Irons are golf clubs with a flat angled face and a shorter shaft than a wood, designed for shots approaching the green or from more difficult lies such as the rough, through or over trees, or the base of hills.
• Putters are a special class of clubs with a loft not exceeding ten degrees (except chippers), designed primarily to roll the ball along the grass, generally from a point on the putting green towards the cup.
• Another variation of the putter, called the chipper, has a similar look, feel and general construction as a "normal" putter, but with a much higher loft, often 30-45 degrees. It is used to lift the ball over or out of the rough or fringe and onto the green with a motion similar to a putt.

If that wasn't bad enough, I only just found out there that there's "hybrid" golf clubs too designed as " a cross between a wood and an iron, giving these clubs the wood's long distance with the iron's familiar swing. " This has to be the most impractical system for playing a sport you could possibly make - were they on yokes when they came up with all of these? 

The space required to play golf on a full 18 hole course is enormous, and quite frankly very greedy considering you could play actual good sports on those huge, empty fields. And who invented golf clothes?  I tried thinking of a comparison to something for them but I just couldn't, just look at the absolute state of them:

Little poshie cunt

I really do think the only reason golf clubs are around is because its an expensive hobby to have the equipment and space to play - so obviously its been taken up by the wealthy. Country clubs are nothing more than an elitist stomping ground - once you've paid enough money to be accepted into the clique the facilities are all yours, but the average person needs to pay the through the roof for a single game or even to be able to apply to join. I really hope people cop on to themselves and just stop playing golf in the future. I actually hate it so much more after I was done writing this....

Gas Facts About Bananas

In 2001, Britain recorded 300 incidents of injuries related to bananas. The majority of these involved people slipping on banana peels.

If you freeze bananas in the freezer and then puree them in a blender, you get a banana paste with a consistency just like soft-serve ice cream.

If you put bananas in a paper bag instead of a plastic bag, they won't go sweaty but will ripen just as fast.

Bananas emit a gas as they ripen. They go bad slower if you keep them all separate rather than in a bunch. 

If you have your stomach revolted after a hangover, eating a banana can help you settle down.

Creationists often argue the perfect fit of a banana for a human's hand as proof that God exists.

Fried bananas are a very popular delicacy in Kenya.

The insides of banana peels are very useful for various things, ranging from leather polish and houseplant cleaning to healing ointment for cuts and warts.

About 50 percent of people who are allergic to latex are often also allergic to bananas.

The average American consumes over 28 pounds of bananas each year.

Everyone loves bananers!

Smoke Weed Erryday!!

The Good, The Bad and the Blunted
28 Blunts Later
Honey, I Shrunk The Blunt
Jurassic Blunt
Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Blunt
Blunt Fiction
500 Days of Blunts
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The Blunt
The Royal Tenenblunts
My Big Fat Greek Blunt
Mrs. Bluntfire
Romancing The Blunt
Trading Blunts
Good Will Blunting
The Blunt For Red October
A Blunt Too Far
50 First Blunts
Journey To The Center Of The Blunt
40,000 Blunts Under The Sea
A Beautiful Blunt
My Left Blunt
Blunts In Space
Blunt To The Future
Blunts of New York
Rambo: First Blunt
The Dark Blunt
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Blunt
Mr. Popper's Blunts
How To Lose A Blunt In 10 Days
Where The Wild Blunts Are
Into The Blunt
Bluntpocalypse Now
Bluntfast at Tiffany's
How Many Blunts To Babylon
Blunts and Dragons
Look Who's Blunting Now
Around The World In 80 Blunts
What A Wonderful Blunt

Dealer Bust

Life is like a card game. Your whole life is just a bigger game of blackjack on a fancier table. Every single person plays this game and, no matter how well they do or how long the last, the dealer always wins. In life’s case, the devil always has the last laugh.

So what can you do? Live every day as if it’s your last! Well, not really. In every dominant human society work has been the only way to succeed,. Weather you were a Roman legionnaire or an insurance salesman from Dalkey, the society that you were born into is one which requires you to work for the majority of your year. 49 weeks out of 52, with 3 weeks holidays if you’re lucky. The rewards for this are the obvious monetary benefits, but also the sociological ones, the standing you gain among your peers and superiors for being a 'hard worker.' If you choose not to do this then not only will you not have the means to get by but you will also be seen as a deficient subject, someone who can’t keep up with pace setters in the race (even though no one has ever known who set it so fast in the first place)

Therefore, the key must be to enjoy your work as well as your time off as if they were one, and then you will have found happiness. But the problem with this becomes apparent when you try to do both at once. Stay up all night having fun with your friends or your family like you do on your time off and you pay for it the next day. Call in sick too much to avoid this and you’re lumped in with the people who don’t work in the first place. Work was created as a means to enjoy or time off, so there is an inevitable and unavoidable sense of duty always associated with it. And if every other person feels this way then trying to go against that trend is futile.

But this system is flawed. This overabundance of work means that we become conditioned only for that function. When this happens, even on our time off we can’t enjoy ourselves and may even feel guilty that we are not labouring. In the game of blackjack, we are sticking on cards that have no chance of winning; the devil is sitting their laughing at us. Surely we shouldn’t afford him all this. Surely there is something we can do to give him a bit more of a game.

Probably, but this is something so engrained into our society that any attempt to remove it would be met with fierce resistance. Even if you committed your whole life to changing this broken system and overcame all the adversity that was thrown against you, at the end of the day you still have to deal with the dealer devil. And he will have the last laugh, just like he has with every person who's walked this planet in the past and everyone who ever will.



Now that I'm finished this I only realise the irony of writing about blackjack on the day I turned 21!

The Lady Gaga Hour (Part 1)

Despite having gone on the record several times about her gender, her initial comment about her ambiguous gender being a joke, and as well as having an astonishing female figure, people still seem to think that Lady Gaga is a pre-op transexual. This grinds the fuck out of my gears. I've heard so many people disregard her and call her untalented because they claim she isn't a woman. Her gender isn't even a valid reason for not liking her singing either - it has nothing to do with her voice! The fact that the rumour is still going just confuses me, honestly. It definitely isn't true anyway - she is female and i'd do prolonged vulgar things to her box all day erryday! Aw yeah!!

Can you see any penis in this picture? Apart from visualising your own in her mouth

Whenever I ask people about whether or not they're a fan of Gaga I usually get a negative answer, which I really can't understand. I can think of plenty of cases where I've seen people turned off the idea of supporting something just because it seems cooler and more independant to think otherwise - ironically this is the most conforming and defeatist attitude you could have.  A lot of this uneeded hatred towards an obviously talented performer is a combination of spite towards someone succeeding at something they're good, aswell as someone so mainstream. People are bitter tossbags. We don't want to see other people succeed at what we can't - and I really don't think many people in the world are as talented as she is. Lady Gaga started out working as a waitress scubbing toilets and worked hard for the fame she has now.  Despite an obvious natural born talent people still can't accept how great a performer and songwriter she is. People want to believe she's a man so they do, because she needs to have some obvious flaw to make people more comfortable. I think it boils down to the average person being hugely intimidated by the thought of a hugely sexual woman being comfortable with her sexuality -and- being stunningly talented.  She's the alpha female, so people literally need to believe she's a male!

Look at her little fine arse!

Her songs are well written and the standard of quality continues to go up and up  - Born This Way is one of the best albums I've heard in a long time, and had a huge varying amount of genres on it - why can't it just be as simple as that? Instead people choose to berate her and give her undeserved criticism, but to be honest its their loss really. Not to mention she's an absolute damp yoke!!