I Hate Golf

Think of anything you like about golf (I really hope you don't have any anyway - if you do; yellow card, mate) and I guarantee you I can think of another sport that does it better. Golf is the worst sport you can possibly play, and the only people who enjoy it are ponces and prick old people. I don't know why but for some reason it still has a legitimate audience. A pretty large one too, by the looks of it. The 2006 Ryder Cup was hosted in Ireland and had a massive viewership, and Tiger Woods' reputation seems to still be doing well despite sleeping with dozens of prostitutes behind his wife's back for over a decade. That's a bit weird, innit?

FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY

There's several reasons why golf is the worst sport there is if you just think about it. First, you don't do anything in golf. It's just my opinion, but the slow and passive nature of golf makes it incredibly boring - would you not prefer to play something a bit more stimulating? Isn't the point of a competitive sport is that it's exciting? I don't understand how anyone could enjoy 'competition' running along at the pace of a bandy dying snail. Also, the amount of implements you need just to play is a sign of how badly golf is designed.  Golf is the only sport I can think of where you need more than one item (i.e; a ball etc.) other than your hand to actually play - let alone fucking five. Take a look at the list of main cumbersome and inefficient clubs which are apparently all neccessary in order for you to play:

• Woods are long-distance clubs, meant to drive the ball a great distance down the fairway towards the hole. 
• Irons are golf clubs with a flat angled face and a shorter shaft than a wood, designed for shots approaching the green or from more difficult lies such as the rough, through or over trees, or the base of hills.
• Putters are a special class of clubs with a loft not exceeding ten degrees (except chippers), designed primarily to roll the ball along the grass, generally from a point on the putting green towards the cup.
• Another variation of the putter, called the chipper, has a similar look, feel and general construction as a "normal" putter, but with a much higher loft, often 30-45 degrees. It is used to lift the ball over or out of the rough or fringe and onto the green with a motion similar to a putt.

If that wasn't bad enough, I only just found out there that there's "hybrid" golf clubs too designed as " a cross between a wood and an iron, giving these clubs the wood's long distance with the iron's familiar swing. " This has to be the most impractical system for playing a sport you could possibly make - were they on yokes when they came up with all of these? 

The space required to play golf on a full 18 hole course is enormous, and quite frankly very greedy considering you could play actual good sports on those huge, empty fields. And who invented golf clothes?  I tried thinking of a comparison to something for them but I just couldn't, just look at the absolute state of them:

Little poshie cunt

I really do think the only reason golf clubs are around is because its an expensive hobby to have the equipment and space to play - so obviously its been taken up by the wealthy. Country clubs are nothing more than an elitist stomping ground - once you've paid enough money to be accepted into the clique the facilities are all yours, but the average person needs to pay the through the roof for a single game or even to be able to apply to join. I really hope people cop on to themselves and just stop playing golf in the future. I actually hate it so much more after I was done writing this....