The people want TWINS! But why?

If I asked you right now, off the top of your head, to name a pair of really attractive twins, I bet you couldn’t do it. After a bit of humming and hawing you would eventually name the Olsen twins, or the Veronicas, or the twins from Sister, Sister (if you were taking the piss, the rotbags). 

Fug pugly, folks.

With all of these choices you would be wrong, because twins aren’t good looking. Each twin is exactly half as good looking as they have the potential to be, and people need to start realising this instead of giving twins undeserved attention in their sexual fantasies. The whole fantasy about getting bet into attractive twins is rotten anyway, they are sisters! If you want to share a bed with girls that shared a womb, you have issues that even disgusting, incestuous twin sex isn’t going to sort out. There is a simple reason to why people think they find twins attractive, and I will now share it with you. I call it:

The Twin Factor

(Warning, the following contains heavy levels of twin science)

Twins are only perceived to be attractive when seen together, and here is why. Most people have two eyes, and when we meet a girl we use both of these eyes for different things. The left eye is used for absorbing positives about someone, their body shape, hair and eye qualities, and general good assets. The right eye however, simultaneously judges the persons less positive attributes, and the information gathered is sent back to the brain, giving us a complete analysis and judgment of someone we have met for the first time. With twins however, we meet them two at a time, and their likeness to each other confuses the eye to brain receptors. The result is that both eyes perform the left eye function, one on each of the girls, and the end result is that the brain is fooled into thinking the twins are more attractive than they are. The person who makes this judgment will also be incapable of seeing any flaws in the twins in future, unless they are specifically pointed out to them by someone else. 

Voted the worlds most attractive twins. Are you joking me?

Another reason is this. Each person has different tastes when it comes to a prospective partner, and we look for these in anyone of the opposite sex that we meet for the first time. It is a well known fact that with twins, there is always one that is considered “evil”, or less wholesome than the other, who is invariably a stand up citizen and over achiever. Since it can be presumed that a good and evil person have all the opposite qualities, this has the effect of letting the brain select what qualities it desires for a single person, and take them where applicable from both twins. This has the effect of someone meeting a twin and thinking that they have many more desirable qualities than they do, and also that they might be far more compatible than they actually are. Combined with the earlier effect of fooling people into thinking they are attractive, this makes it even easier for the twins to ensnare unsuspecting civilians, who are often well into a long term relationship before they realise they entered into it under false pretenses. 

The eyes of a predator.

 If you look at the picture above you can see a twin separated from her other half. Note both how much less attractive she is, and also how uncomfortable she looks to be out in the world on her own. Mark my words, whichever of the Olsen twins this is is the evil one, and she is well aware of the Twin Factor and doing her best to exploit it. 

 The Twin Factor is not designed to suggest that twins are devious or untrustworthy however. Well, the evil one is, but we all knew that already. In many cases the twins are as ignorant of this as the rest of us, and due to a lifetime of people reinforcing it, they adhere to the idea that two heads actually are better than one. In order to escape the entrapment that meeting twins offers, you must contrive a way to separate them before you ever meet. If you meet one twin and get your first impression, then if you meet both at a later stage it will be easier for your brain to digest and make note of their flaws, thus saving you from a potential long and unrewarding courtship. 

In cases such as this, twins are actually just the result of clever mirror placement.

Also remember that twins only tend to live half as long as normal people. So if you are worried about becoming a victim of twin entrapment, just wait until you reach middle age to enter into any serious relationships. That way most of the twins in your age bracket will have either died of natural causes, or killed the other one in order to assume their identity after ruining their own lives. 

Now we know.